PS- I Love You

So.

After failing miserably in my original task of presenting Shye and Pelican a painted rendition of Perry’s photograph, I spent a good long while pondering just what the hell I was going to do instead.

A fairly large chunk of each day was spent spinning my mental wheels and cursing the fickle nature of inspiration. That I felt inspired by them went without saying. The trouble was it was going without *visuals* as well. Which was completely unacceptable.

Every day, I would open up the photograph in windows fax viewer and stare. Drinking in all the tiny details I could see…And piecing together those that weren’t actually visible in the given light.

As I studied it, I couldn’t help but run the stages of their relationship through my head as they progressed in the gallery on Deviant Art.

I pondered the journals Shye and Michael had posted… the many trials and tribulations they both encountered for simply loving each other. For being different. For abiding by the rules they set themselves to *live* every moment, to love as they will and to be kind and courageous in the face of some pretty nasty assaults upon their characters and the art they chose to share.

I began to ponder the nature of perception and how wildly those perceptions vary from person to person.

From all of this, an image began to form in my head

My desire was to create an image that showed the honest love and sensuality between them while simultaneously attempting to show the various ‘imposed’ perceptions of their viewers... Both positive and negative.

This painting is the result.

Obviously, with her shock of red hair and his shorter, silvered locks and wiry frame, the couple presented represent Shye and Michael as we know them here on DA. Yet I also wanted them to be a bit ‘iconic’ as well.

Though I knew I was risking appearing to cave to cliché’ I wanted the most basic message of this painting to be painfully clear.

Love is never black and white.

Is there more to it than that? Oh hell yes. Every aspect of this image has significance and meaning. From my color pallet choices to the placement of every limb. There is a memory and a story behind –all- of it. For those interested, read on. For those who are not, enjoy your visit and have a great day/night/whatever.

Now then… It breaks down like this-

The couple was to be representational of Shye and Pelican, the *public faces* yet carrying the story of who they truly are, beneath it.

Thus Michael-

Is represented Oscar style; flesh made object, simultaneously envied and coveted. Loved and reviled. He presents images that most view only in terms of ‘want’, the faces aren’t important, it’s what rides beneath them that drives the viewer. Thus, the photographer himself becomes obscured by the images he offers. People see the *photos* always.. The man?

Rarely.

So I hid his face from view while keeping his ‘body of work’ visible.

Truth told, in the beginning my color choices as a means to convey the core message were a direct result of a journal Michael wrote titled ‘I will be King’ in which he had walked along a lonely beach after a betrayal and encountered a dark stone embedded in the sand.

He had noted how the waves washed over it and the sand surrounded it, yet the stone itself remained still and calm. Unaffected by the turmoil around it. He took that lesson away with him. Be -in- the world, not OF the world. The strength that took was more than slightly inspiring to me and actually helped me regain a measure of peace in a time of personal upheaval.

I wanted him to know I remembered. Thus I chose my color pallet and base message of the painting based upon what I remembered to be a **dark stone and chose to incorporate those dark shades into the representation of Michael himself.

Strong and calm. Choosing to remain unaffected by the bullshit around him, providing an anchor point of compassion and understanding to those fortunate enough to know him well. How could I NOT paint him thus? And naturally, with the frequent appearance of latex in their collective works, I would have been completely remiss not to polish him up properly, no?

For the record? Painting latex or anything that looks even remotely like it is an unmitigated pain in my ass. Just thought I would share that.


** I had actually gone back to his journal to look at the aforementioned stone when I had finished this particular painting only to realize that I had been mistaken. What I remembered as a ‘dark stone’ was actually a shadow on the stone itself which was, apparently light in color. Damnit.


Which brings me to the Lady Shye.

I actually remember when she first posted to DA. Someone had been ranting that a woman can post a photo showing her ‘business’ and get a thousand views while poor little her only got… (yadda yadda yadda.. we all know the drill by now, I’m sure) and she had linked one of Shye’s very first photographs in her post as an ‘example’. Puritans tend to amuse me. And so…

I clicked.

Well now.. my eyebrows rose slightly as I took in the (quite lovely) view and I found myself smiling at just how disgruntled the woman who linked to the image had been. It was an undoubtedly eye catching photo. Personally? I loved her moxy and decided to go through her gallery.

And for a while, I was -completely- thrown.

Why? Because the messages her photographs sent -me- seemed completely different to what everyone else seemed to be seeing. THEY saw- naked woman bits equal- porn! WOOT!

Me? I saw- “Here I am, AS I am. This body is -my- possession to share or not as *I* choose. I will not be stifled”

Now, that’s an awful wordy rendition of what at the time was a simple emotion but it’s true just the same. . So.. I clicked ‘Watch This Deviant.’ The pelican? He had been on my list for quite some time already

As I mentioned above, when I ‘watch’ an artist, I tend to do more than simply appreciate their work. Part of my enjoyment OF their work is learning what resides in the mind of the artist. Thus, I read their journals.

At first, Shye seemed almost unreal to me. She was always upbeat and unabashed.. Forthright with those who interacted with her, both positively and negatively. I watched as many of those who watched her attempted to ‘objectify’ her and were completely stymied when she simply absorbed their comments, turned them around with a polite smile and fed them right back to their owners.

The gentle hand resting at the neck the male in the painting is a symbol of that ‘soft power’. The ability to disarm without unmanning. To guide, not control. A willow bends beneath the storm so that it need not break. I learned a lot from her back then.

There was also a perpetual innocence about her and in the enthusiasm with which she undertook her journey. It was impossible to me that she be completely real… Yet I remember feeling honestly defensive when I stumbled upon a mention of her ‘manipulating’ the pelican in order to ‘get somewhere’. As though the work she offered was not merit enough to garner respect on an artistic level. In a word? Grr.

I confess to being unable to remain silent there and did indeed add my own opinion to the growing thread in her favor but for the most part, I simply said my piece and tried to let it go.

It stuck with me for a good long while though because it struck me as rather strange how someone who was so *obviously* ‘offended’ by her work and relationship with Michael would apparently go out of their way to continually remark on it(indeed, they had both on their watch list to be able to do just that!) . That smacked of jealousy to me and thus I chose to make certain people saw Shy’s perpetual smile lurking at the corner of her mouth as she confronts you over the shoulder of her lover. The naysayer’s can make of it what they will. Fuck ‘em.

I chose to imbue her ‘white’ tones with a healthy undertone of red. The former symbolizing that perpetual innocence and joy with the latter representing her seeming inexhaustible capacity for love, courage and passion.

For those that would question its viability I will say this. Never underestimate the power of love and passion and its ability to alter the course of a life. They altered mine. Through both of them, I became a bit wiser…A bit more at home in my own skin and a little more compassionate to others that struggled in theirs.

It was –because- of their love and openness that, in time, I saw those that had only originally watched them for a flash of ‘girly bits’ slowly become honest appreciators of –art- and respectful of both those in front of their cameras, as well as behind. THEY did that. LOVE did that.

But lest I forget how it all began, I loosely crossed her legs about Michaels waist, the action itself an honest representative of the passion held between them and their willingness to share it…while the loose ‘x’ they make in back representing the *porn* example of my amusing puritan that led Shy’s way so long ago and those that continue to breath through their belly buttons.

The red emblem in the lower right hand corner is the symbol they have chosen to represent their extraordinary bond and the journey they share. It represents two halves of the same whole, each strengthened by the other whist providing strength TO the other.

Which brings me right back to the beginning. Love is never truly black and white.

Shy and Michael were the greatest examples of that for me during a time when I did not think myself able to open up to -anyone- other than my husband. Granted, I have not the talent that they both share for living out loud, but I have come to know myself better for having been confronted with ideals and opinions that challenged my views of myself and I grew more during that time of personal struggle than I had in years. The debt I owe them both for that can never truly be repaid, but I will continue to try.

This image is the first in a series. Each of them marking a moment in time when a comment or topic they posted made me think and stretch my boundaries a little. They will likely take forever and a day to paint, but I WILL finish them come hell or high water.

But I may have a little coffee break first.

Original painting is 30 inches by 40 inches, for the curious.

For the unimaginative, the title PS I Love You, Does indeed stand for Pelican and Shye. I do indeed love them so.

So much so that it would appear that I am now fated to fly over and make them dinner Havoc will no doubt ensue.



***Please note- my artwork is not public domain and is copyright to Stacey Meyer and may not be downloaded, displayed,modified or redistributed for free or profit in any manner be it digital or print.***

For the rest, enjoy